Entry 24.14

Occasionally, I come across a quote from a movie that I really enjoy. While I do enjoy them, I’m not talking about a quick quip that brings out a chuckle. I’m talking about a quote that has depth of meaning to it. Not every movie has one. In fact, there are very few that have the kind of quote that I am talking about. At least that I have found. And while I don’t watch nearly as many movies as I used to, I still come across them. When I say, “depth of meaning”, I’m talking about quotes to live by or ones that can change your life.

The first quote that I am going to discuss comes from the 2006 film “Rocky Balboa”. Some of you have already begun to judge me for my choice in movies, but just remember, I’m from a different generation who grew up watching Sylvester Stallone in his prime grace the silver screen. Even if you have never seen any of the movies from the Rocky cinematic dynasty (that’s right, I said it. It’s a dynasty in my humble opinion), I think you can still appreciate this quote.

“Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!”

-Sylvester Stallone, Rocky Balboa-

If you don’t think those words are powerful, then I can’t help you. We see it everyday in the news, but the world truly is a mean and nasty place. Most of you have never experienced some of the darkest places in the world and I hope you never do. It’s like your mom telling you the stove is hot and not to touch it. Take my word for it, you don’t need to experience it for yourself. But ready for the part you may not know? You don’t need to experience the places I have been for you to truly believe it. I think there are two types of knowledge. The first is theoretical. Equate this type to me telling you that war is hell. You may have never experienced it and you probably have some sense of understanding but until you are there you won’t really know. The second type is move effective for learning. Practical knowledge is equal to those things you have experienced for yourself. Here is why I’m telling you this. Practical knowledge is relative or subjective. You sense of the world being a mean and nasty place may be completely different than my definition of it. But at the end of the day, both our brains react to our individual definitions in a very similar way. The same goes for our unique toughness. I think this is where some people get the idea that other people are weak because they can’t put up with what the first person believes to be easy. This is where we start to lose our humanity. We fail to see that we are all individuals with our own struggles and challenges. What isn’t unique? The fact that life is hard. No matter who you are. We may think that someone else has life so easy, but we don’t see the strife and turmoil that is going on inside them. We all have two choices. To be defeated or to fight back. Defeat in life only happens when you let it. This is one of the programs that the Army got right. Every year we were required to go through resiliency training. Because that is what is needed to be successful in life. Resilience. “The capacity to withstand or to recover quickly from difficulties.” Resilience is the ability to take a hit and get up again. To get hit again and get back up. Resilience is not about fighting back. It’s about grit. Toughness. A never quit attitude in the face of a never-ending battle with life. And each and every one of you have it. Because despite all the little failures that come with golf, you keep coming back day after day to face it again. But grit isn’t something you are born with. It’s something that you develop. The crappy part is that it can only be developed through failure. Sometimes it’s a small failure and sometimes it looks insurmountable. I have experienced both in my life. I can count more times that I care to admit that I have been beaten down and felt like I had no way to get back to my feet. Here’s the key. Surround yourself with people who will allow you to falter and go down to one knee when life hits you. But when life hits you so hard you fall flat on your face, they are willing to stand between you and your adversary, give you a hand back to your feet, let you dust yourself off and pick up your hands again to go another round. It doesn’t mean that person is stronger than you. It just means they either know how to weather the beating or that particular hardship for you, isn’t a hardship for them. But trust me, life has other things to throw at them that will knock them down. I hate to see people fail but I have learned that I have to let it happen. Because if that person never fails, they will never develop the grit they need in the future. If I don’t let you fail, I am doing you a disservice. The winning that Rocky was talking about was not the small victories. The winning is getting so tough and resilient that you can weather any onslaught from that specific foe. Then you get to move on to the next one because life will never stop sending battles your way. Failure isn’t unfair, it’s part of life. And without it, we could never keep growing. So be thankful for the trying times in your life. They are the things that make you into the person you are and will become.

The second quote that I am going to talk about was made famous by the 2005 film “Coach Carter”. But it doesn’t originate there. It was written by Marianne Williamson in her book A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course of Miracles”. It has been changed some for the film, which is the version you see below:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.

We were all meant to shine as children do. It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone.

And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

You want to talk about depth?! Good lord, dude. That is deep. So often we focus so much inside ourselves and our failures that we put on blinders and can’t see ourselves for who and what we truly are. Learning to take those blinders off is SO HARD. But as soon as you do, your life will change. Again, stupid me learns this lesson repeatedly. I just can’t seem to learn it and then just apply is like a blanket to my entire life. When it finally clicks, then I’m like the face palm emoji and I realize I just learned the lesson again instead of just applying it to the new darkness at hand. It is so easy for us to get consumed by the darkness. We feel like it is creeping in around us and there is nothing we can do. But there is because inside of each of us is a light. That light is our innermost power and all we have to do is let is shine and drive away the darkness that is trying to extinguish it. That’s the one thing about darkness though. Darkness has zero power against light. Light always shines through. In my golf journey (and for some of you), passing the PAT was the darkness that was enveloping me. But when I realized how good I really was at golf and I tore the lid off the furnace inside me, something changed. It wasn’t a slow change. It was immediate. I see how good I am. I am really freaking good at golf. I may not always succeed in the way that I want to. But I have chosen a different path than playing competitive golf. But when I do play competitive golf, I continue to surprise myself. The same thing has happened throughout my life. When I realize how incredibly good I am at something, it scares me. And I try to hold onto it as hard as I can. Well putting your hand around a lamp dims the light and makes it easier to see the darkness. You must just let it out. I know that I have to just let my light shine in whatever I do because if I don’t, I will never reach my potential. That doesn’t mean that I will always be successful. It just means that when I do fail, I know that I have the power to overcome whatever is driving me down. My guess is that you are more powerful than you even imagine. When I finally realize it, I feel like Emperor Palpatine when he shouts, “UNLIMITED POWER!!!!” and then zaps Mace Windu with the lightning bolts from his hands in Revenge of the Sith. I feel like nothing can stop me. Now I’m not telling you to become a Sith Lord and embrace the dark side of the Force, I’m telling you that you have a well of power inside of you that you have only scraped the surface of. But like in Star Wars, fear is the path to the dark side, the place where you only see the darkness and not the light inside you. Fear is a powerful thing. So often that fear that inhibits us is the fear of failure. But fear of letting yourself fail is you purposefully preventing yourself from growing and tapping into the true power inside of you. When I think about it, I equate fear with the darkness. When I was in the Army, I worked at night. Darkness was my friend. It made me a shadow in the night that the enemy feared. That is a completely different kind of darkness and not the kind that I am talking about here. A military quote that adorns T-Shirts is “Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadows of death, I will fear no evil, for I am the baddest son of a b!$@& in the valley”. That is the power that I am talking about. In the face of fear, I let the power of my light shine and drive away the shadows. We all have this light and power inside us. Kids don’t try to hide it. They just send it. It isn’t until someone else meddles that they start to understand fear and start to let the darkness surround them. As you free yourself from the darkness, you will set others free from their own based on your example.

In golf, I have learned to stop being afraid and attack the golf course. I have stopped trying to guide the ball from fear of dropping a shot. I know I’m way better at golf than I think, and I just have to be confident in my abilities. You are too. Do you have any movie quotes like these two that have helped you in life? If so, I’d love to hear them. Maybe I will add them to my list.